More boring climbing stuff.

Photos by Jed Parkes. Thanks Jedi!


So last time I said I would send Street Fighter and I did. Great. Jed was sick as a dog and sending down the odd snot rocket from the top of the cliff using his super zoomo camera. It was worth a little festering snot for those photos.

Thanks to a giant ash cloud hovering over Australia, Simon Young (the guy who is flipping you off at the top of the page) had to stay in Slowbart for a couple more days before flying to Pakiston. He wanted to go on a day mission to the Star Factory to have one more shot at Cockhead Crack. Even though I had an exam the next morning, I was psyched to have a top rope burn on it as well so agreed to go on my first "day trip" to the Star Factory. 2.5 hour drive, hour hike in, hard climbing, hour hhike out, 2 hour drive back. It was worth it to give Youngy a shot.

He did pretty fucking good! Hes got pretty strong lately. Too bad hes going to waste it all jerking off in a hut in Pakistan for the next 6 weeks.

He did good but not good enough! This crack is hard, I guess 30? Its broken up half way with an escapable ledge and sit down rest but the rest of the crack makes it worth getting back online. Not a three star classic but definitely a worthwhile crack. Wow! This is starting to sound like a climbing journal! Time to bitch about dirtbag life.

Im about to buy tickets to the US of Gay to go climb el cap, the hulk, and a few other bits of rock. A few days ago the price from Sydney to LAX went up $300 to $1650. I was gutted. But then yesterday Merry tells me he found cheap tickets to the US from NZ. So I had a look. What I found makes me understand why we are all doomed to drown in a apocalypse driven by a spiraling nightmare of climate chaos... Actually we will probably die of cancer. Anyway, I checked the NZ airfair and it is $1050 AUD to fly round trip from Auckland to Sydney. Hmmm... Interesting. It also costs $160 to fly one way from Sydney to Auckland. So I will save $400 (%25 of my ticket cost) by flying from Sydney to Auckland, then getting on a plane to fly BACK to sydney, then get off a plane and wait a couple hours to then fly to LAX. If a broke loser like me will SAVE $400 by taking a worthless international flight the wrong direction to fly across the planet, what are people who have shit loads of money doing to save even more money? Answer: Wasting all of the world's fossil fuels, pumping CO2 into the air like mad and dooming us to the hell I so recently described.

I dont even give a shit any more. Im saving the $400! In fact, I would take the extra flight if I came out an extra bag of peanuts ahead. I have now resigned myself to existance as a rational wealth maximizer. Its my duty as a sober dual citizen to not fuck with the laws of economics. Next Im volunteering for jury duty.